Her
by Laura x Tennant
Summary: The Doctor thinks a lot. He is a Time Lord, after all. Genius and all that. But when cuddled up with his best friend Rose Tyler, what exactly is he thinking about? Set after The Satan Pit.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Helloooo :D This is going to be split into around 3 chapters I think. Now, I'm not sure whether this is any good or not, but basically it's a whole load of the Doctor's thoughts one evening on the TARDIS – specifically, after getting back from Krop Tor – during a nice little Doctor/Rose 'friendly' cuddle. As I said, not sure if it's very good – you know, like getting his voice right etc - and it might be a bit boring :S but I'd love for you to read it and see what you think. Thanks! Loveya xxx**

**Her**

_She fills his thoughts. Every day. Every moment. Like now, for instance. They are sitting on the captain's chair together, side by side, recovering from their adventure on the impossible planet, known to some as Krop Tor. His arm is wrapped around her waist tightly, protectively, and her head is resting on his shoulder. He watches her. He thinks about her._

Almost lost each other today.

Don't want to lose her.

Almost said...

Tell her I...

What?

I know.

She looks beautiful.

I want to kiss her.

When shall I tell her? How shall I tell her? **Shall** I tell her? She knows. She must know.

I want her.

I need her.

Oh no. No. But yes. I...weeeellll. I... I love her.

She knows that. Probably knew before me; before I let myself admit to myself that I knew that I did.

She's everything. She's perfect.

Forever. Ha. So unrealistic. So impossible. It's so incredibly unfair. I almost lost her today. Separated. Hours before, we'd been contemplating being stuck together, on some planet without the TARDIS, with a house and carpets and doors and Rassilon, a **mortgage, **and you know what? It wouldn't have been so bad. Stuck with Rose. Slow path and all that. With Rose. That's something...something impossible for us now, but could have been possible. Just for a moment.

And for a moment? I wanted it.

I didn't want to find the TARDIS.

I wanted to kiss Rose.

I want to kiss her now, actually.

Can I?

**No. **Of course I can't. Back to reality. No fantasy-stuckwithnoTARDIS-life to live now.

I...

What is that feeling? Right there, in my chest? A feeling I can't seem to get rid of – **ah.**

Oh dear.

I...

I miss...

I miss it. Weird. Missing something I never even had. But I miss it. I miss the could-have-been chance where I could have lived with her and pretended that I was normal, a normal **human**, normal and right and possible to love her and be loved by her. The chance to live that life, the adventure I can never have, with her, **her, **just her; it's only ever been her.

To hold her and kiss her and make lo...erm...marmalade on toast... every morning with her like we do now but **better** because we'd have to be normal, wouldn't we, which would mean normal as in a normal couple...Mr and Mrs John Smith, maybe? Cos they'd be neighbours and friends and jobs and lives and we'd have to live those lives and of course the natural step would be me and her, her and me, **together **together because what else would there be to do? Realistically? In the evenings, they'd be no running to the other side of the TARDIS when the tension got too much, like it does sometimes – that unresolved tension, that electricity; that simple, complicated desire. And they'd be no whizzing around to different planets at night, or fiddling with wires that don't really need to be fiddled with but it gives me something to do to distract me from **those** thoughtswhile she's asleep and I'm lonely and I'm simply being realistic here. Night. In a house. With Rose Tyler. What else would we do? Play scrabble? Exactly. See? Yes. Being realistic.

Realistically, that's never going to happen now. No, life on the TARDIS has far too many distractions to do that sort of thing. Which is good. Really. It is.

It is. Makes it easier to resist.

Although...there are moments when...no. **No. **

**Stop **those thoughts. Please. Please stop it.

Oh, look at that. I'm begging my own brain to stop being so cruel and frustrating (And brilliantly imaginative. Woah.)

How twisted is this?

Ha.

Might as well get the scrabble board out.

Back to reality. Here. Here and now. Her. In my arms. So close. Not like it would be if we were forced to pretend. Weeeelll. Not pretend, exactly. More to the contrary actually – stop pretending.

Because this? Her in my arms? My chin resting on her head? I thought I could let this be enough.

Not enough.

She's beautiful.

Does she love me? Of course she loves me.

Which is why this is so dangerous. I...

I'm going to break her heart. Not now. But someday.

Or she'll break mine first.

Who knows?

Who even knows how long we have left together?

There are so many times and places I've still got to take her, show her, simply **be **with her in and at and all around.

I should take her to Venice. She'll love Venice. Gondola ride. Casanova! Ooh. Something tells me I have unfinished business with him. Still owe him a chicken. Whoops. Yes. Back to see good old Giacomo, and I can give him that chicken. And Rose can come, and she'll be able to – oh. No. **No. **Casanova? Rose? Casanova and Rose, in the same place? No way. Not risking that.

Not that I would be jealous or anything.

(I'm such a liar.)

But she's mine.

So, no to Casanova then. Have to wait a few centuries before meeting him again.

But her...

How can I stay away from her?

Can I really let things carry on as they are, just friends...all the too-long-to-be-simply-platonic-hugs, and chaste kisses and heated looks and frustration...knowing that one day, I'll lose her for good, and I will have to carry on without her knowing that I could've said something, could've **told **her, because really, what if there isn't a chance to do that in the end? And what if she **doesn't **already know?

What would she say if I whispered the forbidden words in her ear right now? Nothing? I don't know. For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do. I just don't know.

_..._

_**To be continued. If you want. Please review :D Love Laura x**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for your response to the last chapter. This follows on immediately – he's still thinking lol.**

**Her**

**Part 2**

_She wriggles a bit in his arms, snuggling further into his side. But neither one of them speaks anything. They don't need to. The Doctor and Rose. Rose and the Doctor. Exactly where they should be. And for once, the Doctor is silent. But he's thinking. A lot._

_A sigh escapes her lips. A happy sigh. Contented. And it makes the Doctor shiver._

Blimey.

Ok. Let's think...not-Rose thoughts. Yeah. Let's think about quantum physics...Schrödinger's Cat...ha that's so obvious really, when will these humans get it...it's so easy. But then, I am a genius – Oh! I should take her to meet Shakespeare. He's a genius. Weeeellll. Very nearly. Oh. No, actually. No. He'd like her. And he's a bit of a charmer. She might like him. Can't have that. Wait. What? Quantum physics. There we go...string theory...relativity...I wonder if she's happy? Course she is. Hmmm, I wonder what amazed expression her face will show when I show her that planet; this planet, each and every planet...

...oh dear. That's not really relevant to quantum physics, is it? No. Ok. Obviously quantum physics is a boring topic. What else? Rose.

What else? Rose.

What **else **can I think about?

Ok. Bananas. Great fruit, bananas. Most popular fruit on Earth, in fact. Earth. Earth, where Rose is from. Ooh! Rose eating a banana. That was sight to see. Yeah. She evidently likes bananas too, the way she was eating it...or maybe she was just doing that to tease me...I almost broke down, actually. Mmm. Yeah. Bananas. Bananas are good. Rose is better. I wonder what bananas and Rose taste like? I wonder what Rose tas – no, wait. What? No.

Rassilon.

Stupid fruit.

Ok. Erm...aha! Classical music. Yeah. Should really try and compose some myself, actually. Wonder if I'm good at that this time around. I remember when I...What about Mozart? Yeah! That's safe. And impressive. She'd love to meet Mozart...oh...where was I? Erm...Rose? No. No. Other stuff.

Other stuff.

Rose.

**Other **stuff.

Winston Churchill! My old mate. Should get in touch with him soon. Brilliant man! World War Two. Hmmm. Done that. I wonder what she would say if I asked her to get up and dance with me right now? I could put on our song...we haven't dance to that **since** World War Two...it would be nice. Nostalgic. Oh. Where was I? Oh yeah. Winston. Hmmm. He should meet her. He'd like her. Rose is brilliant too.

Oh dear.

This isn't working. Especially seeing as she just shifted her body **again** so that she's basically in between my legs now, her head on my chest. Well. There we have it. Practically spooning her. Sitting up. This is ridiculous (-ly brilliant).

And look at her. Tilting her head back to look at me upside down. Her face so unbelievably lovely and with all sorts of mischief dancing in her eyes at that. And her smile...who'd have thought someone could smile like that after the adventure we just had? Only Rose. Only always-looks-on-the-bright-side-Rose. Brilliant, adorable and incredibly endearing are words that don't even begin to cover what she looks like right now. I know she must be scared, though. All this smiling and telling me it's not my fault...she pretends. She pretends she's fine, when she really isn't. Just to make me feel better.

And yet...her smile, right now...it seems genuine, actually. Maybe she's just incredibly relieved that we got out of another near-death experience.

And she looks so...

I'd rather like to...

I can't help it. I have to...

How will she feel when I kiss her...

Forehead. Nothing wrong with that. Completely allowed. Just a small, press of my lips to her forehead. Doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean an – oh. Her eyes...wide in surprise...ooh that rhymes...anyway...ooh, an eyebrow is raised and ok I have to look away now because if I don't I swear she'll look right, deep into my eyes and see what I'm thinking and really, I don't (do) want that to happen because these thoughts I happen to be thinking simultaneously with this one are most inappropriate (and bloody brilliant) and she might think I'm a bit of a pervert (rather creative, sexy, dashing superhero).

So. That bit of wall. That's nice. Not looking at Rose. Nice wall to look at instead. Better. Much better...not at all wanting to look – oh. Ok. I looked at her. Her head's gone back to its position on my chest and she's not looking up at me upside down anymore.

I'm not remotely disappointed.

(Liar.)

Beatles. Need to take her to see the Beatles. Or the Rolling Stones? Ooh! Or the Beegees? Oh, maybe all of them. And Madonna. Yep. Concert time. Then I can pretend that it's ok to dance with her because everyone will be dancing and then maybe I could just kiss her and blame it on the atmosphere or the alcohol or the heat or something. Yeah. Good plan. Wait, what? What am I thinking? No. No kissing. No Rose-kissing. No. Not at all.

Rassilon!

Aha, now that is the most adorable sound...Rose's tummy rumbling. Now...should I tell her to get some food? Should I take her out for something to eat?

I don't want her to move. I like sitting here like this. It's nice. Weeelll. More than nice... Can't and won't move right now. She'll just have to stay hungry. I mean, she can't be that starving, or she'd have got off me by now and gone to make some dinner. Evidently, she's too tired to eat. Or she just...likes this position just as much as me.

Nah. She's just lazy.

Maluu. Now there's a great planet. **Sensational **food, there. Really sensational. I should take her there now, really. She's lovely when she's eating. Her face...tasting those chips that day (that was our first date.) And all those other days. Wow. And Maluu? Best chips in the universe. Any universe. Oh, how she would smile on Maluu, tasting those chips...

I love her.

What would she say if I told her? I love her. I shouldn't, but I do. So much. Too much.

**Why?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Her**

**Part 3**

_She had taken her jacket off earlier. And now, he trails his fingers up and down her bare arms without realising. He's deep in thought, you see. Then his hands reach the bare skin at her waist, where her top as ridden up a little. He traces a few circular-swirly patterns and doesn't even notice he's doing it until her breath catches. _

_He pauses his motions abruptly. _

_She doesn't say anything._

_Neither does he._

_Then she gently pushes his hands back down to her stomach from where they are hovering above, and he takes this as a good sign. A sign that maybe she likes his idle, imaginary doodles on her skin._

_If only she knew what those patterns really are._

_And he thinks. Thinking, thinking, always thinking. Always about her. Right now, he's contemplating why it is that a human girl could come into his life and complete it so spectacularly..._

**Why?**

Why her?

Why would I fall for her?

I mean, she isn't...she's not...she's just...

Oh.

She is. She's definitely not 'not...' And she's not 'just' anything though, is she?

She's her. And she is...oh she **is.**

And I shouldn't have. But I did. Because I couldn't stop it.

But how?

Run. Is that meant to be impressive? Chips. Hand. So glad I met you. Love. Wouldn't have missed it for the World. Hug. Kiss. I am, I'm sorry. Need. I only take the best. Hand. Run. Life! Trapped. Do it. Trust. I trust you. Love. You got the moves? Show me your moves. Hand. I've got Rose. Body. Dancing. Everybody lives! Smile. Dancing. Sun. Power. Gold. I want you safe. My Doctor. Eyes. Tears. Want. She came back. Better with two. Love. Smile. Laugh. She always comes back. Run. Kiss. Travelling with you, I love it. Laugh. Grin. Me too. Run. Smile. Giver her back to me. Hug. Run. Imagine watching that happen to someone you...Love. Hurt. Hug. Life. Are you alright? Touch. Want. Good luck. Smile. Hug. That makes things very, very simple. Find her. Got her back. Safe. Hug. Stuck with you, that's not so bad. Yeah? Yeah. Happy. Life. Living! Hug. Oh, she knows. Lips. Hand. Hug. Run. **Mine.**

**Why**_** not?**_

Does she trust me? Of course she trusts me. But **should** she trust me?

Yes. I'll keep her safe. I love her. I don't want to lose her.

She's everything.

Pyramids. Egypt. That would be fun. All sunshine and sand. Yes. She'd glow. And then I could –

wait

- Ooh, yes, I like...that. She's moving, turning, turning around to face me. She's practically half off the chair but she doesn't seem to mind and what's she doing? She's biting her lip. She looks like she's contemplating doing something very scary but very brilliant. What's she doing? She's leaning towards me. What's she...Oh? Oh...**oh, **ok...

Different. This is different. Good different. Very, very, very, very, very, brilliantly good different.

Being kissed by Rose. Mmmm. Yes. An actual, proper kiss now.

Progress. I like it.

Rassilon, what am I saying? This can't happen! What is she...? Am I...letting her? Why am I...? Wait. Am I...kissing her back?

Oh dear.

Blimey.

Bugger.

Bloody hell.

I really, really shouldn't do this. I really, really shouldn't encourage her...but...

But.

Always a 'but...'

This time...it's a good 'but...'

It's a: 'this shouldn't happen **but... **it's so brilliant that actually of course it should happen because we've wanted this for so long and why **shouldn't** we do this and I love this and **wow**...' sort of 'but.'

Which is evidently pretty amazing.

Pretty. Rose is pretty. Should get someone to do a portrait of her.

Art!

Maybe we should go find Van Gough. I'd love to meet him. So would she. Or Matisse. Or Da Vinci. Or Monet. Rubens?

Picasso! Let's meet Picasso. One day. Not now. Now, I've got other things on my lips – mind! Mind.

Need her.

Her hair looks nice. It's all tousled and sexy. It didn't look like that just now, when it was straight and shaped around her face – oh. **Oh. **Yeah. I just messed her hair up. My hands. In her hair. Wow.

So nice...

Huh...? Oh. Wait. What? She's pulled away. No more kissing. Why? No. Wait. That's a good thing. Good. This can't happen. It can't –

- oh thank Rassilon, she just needs to inhale some oxygen. She just needs to breathe a little and then...and aha! More kissing. This is very nice. Why haven't we been doing this before?

Oh. No, no, no, no, no! Don't leave...what is she...she standing up...where's she going?

She looks surprised. Shocked. Scared, even. Does she think she's made a mistake? She has, really. Because now I don't think I can go back to being with her but not kissing her. Which is wrong (wonderful.) So very wrong. But I don't think...wait...does she regret that? She's biting her lip again. That really shouldn't be so sexy. That really shouldn't make me think...weeelll. The thoughts I'm thinking. I'd quite like to...no. No. Stop it.

I wonder what I look like right now. I don't think my mouth can formulate speech at this moment in time. So she must be worried. That I haven't said anything. I talk quite a lot, usually. Out loud. Not just in my head. I appear to be frozen to the spot. But even if I could speak, what would I say? I don't really trust myself to make a single sound right now.

And look at her. Standing there in front of me, leaning against the console. Looking so deliciously Rose. Oh, what am I going to do?

She looks scared. But kind of hopeful.

But...

Ok. Bad 'but...' coming now. But...we can't. I can't let this...I want to...but I can't...I can't...

I need to stop this.

Now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Her**

**Part 4**

Ok. Concentrate. Look somewhere other than her lips. Think of something else.

Oh Rassilon, she's walking towards me.

Think. Places. Planets. I should tell her where we are going next, or something. Yes. Snap out of this...this...dangerous area where she's looking at me like that and no doubt I'm looking at her the same way and right, I really need to stop this. Planets. What planet? Which planet? Any planet?

Oh, the planet Rupeikk is nice. She'd like it there. All mauve seas and crimson stars. Lovely. Like her.

_I'm not going to lose her. _

People. People. People! That's what we need! People. People? Not just any people. Impressive people. Distractions. Distractions. Distractions from this, that and everything else I'm thinking of right now in those oh-so-creative corners of my mind...ok. Ok. People. Do I know people? People. Of course I do. Rose. No. Not-Rose. Other people. Rose. Damn it! Other people, other than Rose...erm...

Julius Caesar! Now there's a fellow she should meet. Oh, and Moses. Jesus! He's the most impressive of the lot! And Einstein. Einstein. Hmmm...

Oh, but...

I can't talk about other things though. Not with this heavy, tense, gorgeous atmosphere. I can't talk about planets and people now. It's not fair. I want...I want to...

What shall I say to her instead? I wonder if she'll believe me if I tell her she's the only thing I believe in.

Sydney Opera House. Fireworks. New Year. No, yes, no – yes! Millennium! Now that's a little bit perfect.

Romantic.

Domestic.

I don't care.

Kiss her.

Need her.

Oh look at the way she's frowning like that, as if contemplating what the next move should be. Oh...

Think.

Not **that.**

**Other **thoughts.

The Sound of Music. Her favourite. We should watch it. Being filmed. Yeah. Meet Julie Andrews. Then, the opening show of the stage musical. Sounds like a plan. A very, very good one too. She might kiss me as a thankyou. No. No! No more kissing.

_I'm never going to lose her. _

Wish she could see Gallifrey. Not for me. But for her. She's so beautiful. And so was Gallifrey. She deserves to see it. Impossible, but still. I'll share my memories of it with her, and maybe she'll catch a glimpse of how wonderful it was. And how much she means to me for me to tell her about it.

Love that smile. Tongue poking out between her teeth like that...gorgeous. Aha! Smiling. So, no regrets then. Wait. She doesn't look scared anymore. Did I say something? No. No, I didn't. Maybe she can just tell what I'm thinking. Damn. Knew this would happen. Looking into my eyes like that...

Paris. She would love Paris. Not the city Paris, the planet. Even bigger tower there. Much more romantic.

Want to kiss her...

Oh...

I have her now.

I won't in the future.

She'll be gone soon.

But I have her **now.**

Why shouldn't I make the most of her while I still do?

Oh, I don't know.

Wonder what she would say if I took her to Htrae...I reckon she'd be thoroughly confused. Everything's rather backwards there. And she looks adorable when she's confused.

Wistlio. Beautiful meadows on that planet. Full of daffodils. Weeellll. An alien equivalent of daffodils. Not as good as roses, but still beautiful.

Need her.

Toronto. Quite nice there. Should visit there sometime. Oh, and we should go back to Japan. Different time though. And just us.

Better with two.

When will she kiss me again?

Oooh, Agatha Christie! I bet she's brilliant! She'd love to see her! That'd be fantastic.

She's still smiling. Love her smile.

We should go back to Barcelona. That trip made things rather brilliant. That was the first time she kissed me. On the lips. Just a chaste peck, mind. But nice. Very, very, extremely nice.

Always nice.

I want her to kiss me again. Properly. Like just now. That was brilliant.

Need to take her to the first Olympics as well. Oh, then maybe 2012. That would be interesting.

Everest. Not the mountain, the planet. Exciting stuff. She won't know what's hit her.

Love her.

Want to kiss her...

No. No. No more kissing.

Breakfast in Hollywood. Weeellll. And lunch and dinner. And then breakfast again. Wait. No. No overnight. Not in the same place. That's dangerous. TARDIS is much safer. Bedrooms...far, far apart. Infinitely apart. Nowhere near where I can hear her. Breathing. Changing. **Showering.** Talking in her sleep... and erm...weeeelll. Et cetera.

Rassilon...

Cinema. Harry Potter. Last one. Yes. Good plan. Oh. She'll see me cry, though. Oh well. She's Rose. So that's ok.

Domestic. Oh. Very domestic. Do I actually care? No. Thought not. Here I go again. Asking myself questions. Insane. Actually insane. But only since her.

Ha.

Yeah right.

The moon! Haven't even taken her to the moon yet. Hmmm. Haven't taken her to **any **moons yet. Should rectify that. Especially need to take her to Poosh's moon. Glorious view!

What else?

Dinosaurs. Yeah! Impressive. No cavemen though. No. No, definitely not.

Anyway...

What am I going to do?

This can't...oh I want it to. But it can't. I can't do what she wants me to do, be who she wants me to be.

Oh...

I've never had this problem before. Any sign of this sort of thing and it's been a firm 'no, not ever, deal with it or go home.'

But this...

She's Rose.

This time...things are mutual. Thoughts. Feelings.

Most definitely requited.

Which is why this is so difficult. Because I want to be with her but I have to be the responsible one here and say no. It will only make things complicated, and a hell of a lot more difficult when she leaves.

(She'll never leave.)

Oh...

Then again.

Me? Responsible? Never. Not really sure what the word means...I could pretend that I...

Wait. I'm over 900 years old. I **have **to be the one to stop this.

But...

She'll be upset; it will hurt her, a rejection like that. She won't understand, will she? She'll think I don't want her. Oh no.

_She'll think I don't want her._

That isn't fair.

That's not how she should think.

That's just...

No. I won't let her think that.

Oh, help.

**A/N: Hey everyone :D Hope you're enjoying this. Drop me a review to let me know. Much love xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Her**

**Part 5**

I want to hold her. Not just her hand. Properly hold her. Not just a hug. Really hold her. Forever.

Oh...

Elvis...we must try and actually see him one day. She should wear That (Sexy) Pink Dress again. Yes. She looked lovely in that. All...lovely and...lovely. Hmmm. How did I resist that?

Oh.

**Oh.**

Look at her.

It's so frustrating. It really is. Why does she have to be human? Why do I have to be a Time Lord?

Stupid difference in species. Stupid difference in age. Stupid difference in...mortality...

Ohhhhhhhh.

Bugger.

How do I deal with this?

I want her. I want her forever.

And now...listen to her...is she doing that deliberately?

She's breathing. Well, obviously. If she wasn't, I'd be extremely worried. But right now...she's breathing quite heavily. Panting, even. Shakily. On purpose, knowing her. Minx.

Uh-oh. Resolve weakening. I can feel it. It's slipping. And there – right there – in the left ventricle of my right heart, the fear fades away. That overwhelming fear that she'll leave me. Gone. And there it is. Two hearts. Two hearts, completely full of love and warmth and happiness and longing for her. Rassilon. I was counting on that small iota of fear, of doubt, to pull me back. To stop me. Resisting though...it's sooo exhausting. Right now, all I want to do is...

Weeeellll.

Her.

Which is wrong. Very wrong. Extremely wrong. I'm a Time Lord. **Time Lord**. Time Lords didn't want that. Time Lords didn't do that. Well. Not really. Not for...well. Love. Pleasure. Et cetera.

But she...

She's so...

Lovely.

Why?

Think. Think! Think some thoughts. Come on brain! Anything!

Woaaaahhhh. Woah, woah, woah! Who in the name of Gallifrey allowed that thought to even be possible?

And who let me think **that **thought? Or...that...or, indeed, this – that should be, surely...erm...illegal...oh...

Oh dear. This has to...Stop. Yes. This has to stop. Think of something else. Something! Anything!

Woaaahhhh! That's even worse (**better.** Worse!)

Ok! Not **anything! **Anything **but **those...Rose-panting-smiling-lovely-naked-naked?-**naked**- Rose thoughts. No. No. Definitely. Not. Definitely **not.**

**Rassilon.** What is wrong with my mind?

She's so tempting.

Lost city of Atlantis! There we go. There's a non-Rose-naked thought. Now **that **is what you call impressive. She'd like that. The city, I mean, not the non-Rose-naked-ness of that thought. Though she'd like that too, I expect, safe in the knowledge that she's not travelling time and space with a dirty old man.

Oh dear.

Maybe she wouldn't actually. She's got that teasing, flirty look in her eyes right now. In fact, I'd even go as far to say that she's damn well trying to **seduce **me. As if she could (hasn't) already. Pah!

She practically wants me to think those **non**-non-Rose-nakedinAtlantis-thoughts doesn't she? Why else would she be biting her lip like **that...?** The minx.

Look at her.

I am.

Wow.

She's beautiful.

Lovely.

Love her.

Oh look. My hand. In hers. As usual. She's...oh. Oh? **Oh...** She's pulling me up. Oh no. Standing right in front of her now. And she's...walking. Backwards. Eyes on mine. Hand in mine. Leading me. Where? Oh. Oh no. No. This can't...I can't...we can't...

But...

Oh, look at that. My own legs betraying me. Walking along with her.

This can't...we can't...

But...

She's smiling. I wonder if she'll ever smile as brightly as the day that I – oh yes, there it is. **That **smile. Always smiling. Always laughing.

I love her laugh. What will I do without her laughter ringing through the TARDIS? What will I do without her good-morning kisses on the cheek and her good-night hugs? What will I do without her lips and her eyes and her arms and her nose and her ears and her hair and her legs and her everything that I haven't even been allowed to touch or see; what will I do without **her? **

I'm scared. I love her so much. Too much.

Which is precisely why I'm letting her lead me out of the console room right now. Down the corridor. Into her...no. Wait. This is **my **room. How did she...? What?

Oh well. Here now.

But...

When will she leave me? She'll never leave me. She promised me forever. I wish I could give her forever. I want her forever. I love her. I** love** her. I completely, utterly, cannot-even-believe-how-much love her. Shall I pretend I don't? Shall I try to ignore it? No. It's too late. I love her. I can't deny that anymore. I love her I love her I love her –

"_I love you," he murmurs softly. _

_She spins around to face him in surprise. Taking a step towards him, tugging lightly at the lapels of his jacket, placing her hands over each of his hearts, she frowns up at him, biting her lip._

_Sensing her uncertainty, the Doctor repeats his admission. "I love you, Rose Tyler. I really do. Always have. Always will."_

_She smiles, and leans up to give him a slow and meaningful kiss, conveying all the devotion and love she feels for the daft old alien in front of her._

"_I know," she replies when she pulls her lips away from his. "I love you too."_

_He beams..._

Ok. Giving in now.

I think it's time for me to show Rose Tyler just how well I, the Doctor, last of the Time Lords , can dance.

And it is going to be _brilliant._

**A/N: Well, there you are. Finito! Hope you liked it. Please review ;D Loveya xxxxx**


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